Foreclosure and You:
If You Think Foreclosure Has Nothing to Do With You, Think Again!

By Reeta Wolfsohn, CMSW

Families facing or experiencing the crisis of foreclosure find themselves adrift in a new world order which they have no idea how to navigate.

The loss of a home is much, much more than the loss of a residence. Regardless of the lies they were told by banks and mortgage companies, or the mistakes and poor choices they may have made as part of the process, most of these men and women had no idea that the path they had embarked upon would inevitably lead to foreclosure.  How could they? No one else did either.

It grows clearer each day that the magnitude of the loss of hopes, dreams and futures symbolized by foreclosure combined with the major challenges of finding a new place to live and a new way of living is proving insurmountable for some. The extent of the pain and despair some of foreclosure's victims are feeling are causing them to contemplate or to resort to suicide and murder.

The growing number of men and women experiencing feelings of failure, hopelessness and helplessness makes the need for services and support greater than ever, at a time when such services and support are less available than ever. This harsh reality creates the need and the opportunity for friends, family, workplaces and communities to play a more significant role in the lives of those they care about and work with.  

Each of us can, and is, only responsible for our own lives and futures, but all of us have the ability to make a contribution to the well being of others in numerous ways and on different levels. Several examples include:

Friends and Family

* Be a good listener. Sometimes that is all that someone struggling with financial problems needs. By listening you have the opportunity to learn how much help the person who is speaking needs, whether you can provide that help, or if you know where that person can go for help. It also allows you to identify what role you can play.

* Separate the outcome from the person. In the midst of foreclosure it may be difficult for someone to remember that foreclosure was the result of many circumstances beyond the control of the individual as well as those within their control. What happened in the past cannot be changed, but the future is waiting to be created and provides many better prospects if the lessons learned are used wisely. 

* Be pragmatically positive. Anyone who has experienced foreclosure is likely to view the world negatively. Help reframe this view by discussing short term goals and steps toward creating a new, different, and better future.

* Help friends, family or colleagues to stay connected to HOPE. There is always HOPE. At times of great stress, loss, and confusion it is easy to ignore or to forget this, so find ways to bring HOPE back into the picture.

* Encourage continuation of religious affiliations and beliefs. Religious affiliations and beliefs can provide support, along with the foundation for acceptance and change. 

* Remain realistic. Do what you can to help and to support those you care about but understand that you are not responsible for their actions or behaviors.

In the Workplace

* Pay attention to the warning signs. These include missed deadlines, appointments, meetings, or work. Use these occasions to refer to EAP or to discuss the problems with the employee as non-judgmentally as possible. 

* Be proactive. Create financial education classes and support groups. Financial problems are the number one reason employees contact their EAP departments. 

* Be a good listener. See above.

* Develop a system (or position) for identifying employees with financial problems. This approach will help to minimize the threat or temptation of theft, misappropriation of funds, work time spent dealing with creditors and collectors, self-medicating, etc.

* Create a system for helping employees with financial problems. In addition to providing help and support to these employees the goals of such a system would be to reduce problems in the workplace, to improve productivity and to reduce healthcare cost.

In the Community

* Know what resources are available to help. This facilitates access for those who are too devastated to look for, or to find, the services they need.

* Advocate for more services. The need for services will continue to overwhelm the current service providers available; the need for additional services will persist.

* Help to create new services. If you know how to be a part of the solution, choose to take action and make a difference. 

* Volunteer. If you have the time and the skills, use them.

* Write letters and articles. "The pen is mightier than the sword," said Edward Bulwer-Lytton. Raise consciousness of the need for services through guest commentaries and letters to the editor. 

The repercussions of foreclosure will inevitably continue to bleed into everyone's life and community. It will reduce the ability of those who experience it to think clearly and to make better choices and increase their potential to grow less engaged at home, at work and with life. It will impact the lives of everyone who cares about them and the communities in which they live. If you think foreclosure has nothing to do with you, think again.

**

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Nationally known motivational speaker and expert Reeta Wolfsohn, CMSW, is the founder of the Financial Social Work discipline (www.financialsocialwork.com) and the Center for Financial Social Work, in Asheville, NC. Reeta is a certified social worker, therapist, author and motivational speaker on the topic of money from a psycho-social perspective. She can be reached at 800-707-1002.

Copyright 2009 Center for Financial Social Work with use rights granted to FinancialWellnessForum.com

fwf9colRWforeclosureandyoubb1